My Favorite Chuck Norris Facts

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I’m feeling rather unproductive today… How about I post my favorite Chuck Norris Facts…

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter

Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the poop out of it

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck’s gas tank as a joke….that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

When life hands Chuck Norris lemons, he makes orange juice.

Chuck Norris killed 2 stones with 1 bird

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter

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